Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
