I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
