Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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