I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
