He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
