Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
