They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
