I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
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He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying