There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
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I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring