I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
