if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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