I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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