His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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