I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
