I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
