clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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