she smelled like a LAN party
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
