i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
