Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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