Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
