just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize