Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
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my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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