i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dignity is for republicans.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
