if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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