I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize