my vag is so smooth its legendary
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
