Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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