I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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