Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
