Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
