The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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