dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
