i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
