it hurts more in the daytime
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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