Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
