whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
