But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and she was petting her beer can
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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