Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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