But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize