I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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