I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He has the fingertips of a God
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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