im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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