i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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