It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
ttyl tear gas
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
