i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
