This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
