It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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