On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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