i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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