yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Randomize
