you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
