Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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