the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
