Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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