We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize