What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
