I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
