She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
