she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
