Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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