I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
