he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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