I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
