38 yer olds are good kisserssss
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
