He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
