you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
